im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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