You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
