this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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