I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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