I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
