Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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