we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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