Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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