You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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