wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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