No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
