using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
