shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
