my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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