I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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