you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
