But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
