can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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