Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
