Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
