I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
