That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
