but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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