I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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