i think my tv is drunk
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she smelled like a LAN party
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
