4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i think i just lost a toe
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
