her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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