Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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