i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
