come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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