how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
