Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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