I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
