sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
