I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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