I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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