I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
