a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
high people should be assigned attendants
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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