You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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