Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
