i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
