She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
