We won't sleep together?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
