Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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