I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
