FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
