found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We are two peas in an std pod
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
tell me about the eggs
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
