dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
