handjob tips. give me some.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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