i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
