who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
