Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
